Friday, October 4, 2013

Pets Are Not Kids

I made the statement "Only people without children really think the phrase "My pets are my kids" is legitimate. Let's get real. Pets are pets. Children are children. Period." and boy did I hear about how I had offended the entire pet-owning population on the internet. In addition I had apparently also alienated my non-parent friends (both pet owning and pet free) and as a bonus I managed to offend at least one person who neither has kids nor owns pets! 

Now if that's not multi-tasking I don't know what is. 

After some thoughtful consideration I have decided that perhaps the phrasing I used was slightly inciting, and that without any backstory the comment could have been taken the wrong way. So I thought I would take the liberty here of sharing my reflections, and then taking an opportunity to perhaps revise my original statement. 

Some of the reasons given for being offended by my statement were:
  • I love my pet as much as you love your child
  • My dog is smarter than your 8 month old
  • Saying "my pets are my children" is a way to brush people off when I don't feel like explaining why I chose not to have children
  • "My pets are my children" is accepted vernacular, it's not meant to be literal
  • Pets are helpless without humans just like babies - so they are the same
  • Saying "pets are not children" implies that non-parents can't relate to parents - having pets puts non-parents on the same level as parents so everyone is the same

I think I'll just tackle these one at a time.

  • I love my pet as much as you love your child 
My post said nothing about loving a pet is not like loving a child.
  • My dog is smarter than your 8 month old
And as with their respective guardians, one has reached their full potential and the other has a lifetime of potential waiting for them. 

  • Saying "my pets are my children" is a way to brush people off when I don't feel like explaining why I chose not to have children
Ok. I can kind of see that. But at the same time why not just tell the person to mind their own business. Or say, I choose not to have children. I do not see how it is productive to choose not to have children but then go through life defending yourself by saying you have pets that are surrogates for children. If you don't want children why do you still feel ashamed when someone asks about it? And if you do want children but are unable to have them yourself why have a pet instead of adopting a child? There are plenty of children in the world that need good homes. To this I have to call B.S. and say that if you are comparing a pet to a child the comparison has less to do with how you truly feel about your pet and more to do with your own insecurities about how society will view your choice to be childless. 

  • "My pets are my children" is accepted vernacular, it's not meant to be literal 
If it isn't 'meant to be literal' why are so many people freaking out when I disagree with it?

  •  Pets are helpless without humans just like babies - so they are the same
False. Pets are domesticated wild animals. Dogs are more than capable of hunting or digging in trash to find food, and foraging for water/shelter. Cats the same if their owners didn't tear out their claws to save the couch cushions. Birds kept as pets would be able to fly if people didn't clip their wings. I didn't know that the 'pet' breeds of snakes and other reptiles had been bread to only eat crickets served on silver platters. And smaller non-predatory animals (such as gerbils and rabbits and fish) would be more than capable of surviving if they were not confined to an unnatural habitat by humans. A baby can do all of that too?? Really. Wow. Because last I checked my 8 month old can't get his own food or water, and is helpless to escape danger on his own. 
  • Saying "pets are not children" implies that non-parents can't relate to parents - having pets puts non-parents on the same level as parents so everyone is the same
This one took some real thinking. But in the end having pets doesn't get a non-parent any closer to knowing what it's like to be a parent. I suppose some may take the statement "You're not a parent so you wouldn't understand" insulting but it is true. If you are not a parent you cannot know how being a parent feels. If I were a war veteran, and I said "You aren't a soldier so you wouldn't understand war" would you be insulted? Would it be acceptable to then say "Well, I've never been to war but I did stand in line at Wal-Mart on Black Friday two years in a row, so I do know how you feel". I mean, the comparison is ridiculous. And why is a true statement so insulting? Why do people as a group take the statement as the parent taunting the non-parent. In the veteran analysis nobody would


I'd like to rephrase by saying "Only people without children really think the phrase 'my pets are my kids' is legitimate. Let's get real. Pets are pets. Children are children. Period." 

I know. I know. I spent a lot of time considering that edit.  

:)

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